Visiting dad

My dad passed away last October. He was sick for a long time and we didn't have the greatest relationship when he was alive, but his passing has been like losing a part of me. Every once in a while I think I'm used to it, but then I remember that I can't call him to chat for no reason and that I won't ever see him again, and it all comes falling apart again. Last year, the first Christmas without him, was the hardest, but every day is still a struggle. I've been told that it gets easier with time, but every time that I visit my dad at a gravesite instead of his apartment, it feels like the day he died all over again. But I know that feeling is better than acting like I'm okay, and I know that he wouldn't want me to be miserable just because he's not around. But grief is powerful, and sucks me under like a wave. The feelings don't go away. But maybe I'm getting stronger.

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