I have been on an adventure of change this summer. I have been learning independence, and learning that I need to do a better job taking care of myself. One of my friends gave me the advice to take 30 days to focus on self-care and it made me realize that I have strong feelings about the concept. Self-care as it is described in media is something that only privileged people can do, and that level of injustice makes me not want to engage.
Yes, getting a manicure may make me feel more put together, but there are so many people who don’t have the resources to go to the spa when they are feeling down. It is hypocritical to say that I care about world events and then put on a face mask to unwind – there isn’t a face mask for the undocumented mother who is separated from her child and put into jail. Everyone does not have equal access to self-care. It is another level of white privilege that separates us.
But then I think of the Audre Lorde quote that “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Just like in an airplane we put on our own masks before assisting others, we need to fill ourselves up before addressing the world. In this time of political unrest, we each need to do everything that we can to care for ourselves in order to endure.
Perhaps the answer is to focus on the inner work of self-love, not the outer packaging of getting a manicure. Perhaps the answer is to be aware of the privilege that comes with acts of outer self-care. Perhaps the answer is to build communities of care, instead of caring for ourselves.
How do you balance the need for self-care and the awareness of privilege? How do you care for yourself?
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