Drinking culture - a rant

I am sick of the drinking culture. I’m sick of every conversation about making friends centering around wine. I’m sick of hearing about people’s hangovers. I’m sick of people thinking that they need to poison themselves just to fit in.

You are okay as you are. You can be social without the crutch of alcohol. You can unwind by exercising or drawing or so many other activities. You don’t need a glass of wine.

So many people avoid their feelings by numbing. I know that I’m sensitive about it because I used to be one of them. But I’m not anymore and that’s the best decision I ever made. And I’m sick of society treating me like there’s something wrong with having a soda at a party.

Please, if you see someone not drinking, don’t ask why they aren’t drinking. Don’t offer them a drink. Don’t pressure them. Just give them a cheers or a hug and do your own thing. We’re all doing the best we can and that’s ok.

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19 for 2019

Happy new year! I’m a few days late because I started the year by taking some time off in Mendocino and am now ready to share my goals for the year. Instead of having one resolution which I then don’t stick with, this year I am following the Happiness Project podcast and have created a 19 for 2019 list. Some are ambitious and some are simpler, and I’m hoping that the combination makes it easier to stick with than one resolution to exercise more for the year.

1. Yoga Teacher Training

2. Make a California photo album  

3. Blog 30+ times in 2019

4. Go to 25 inspirational events  

5. Get a promotion or new job

6. Work out 4 times per week for 3 months  

7. Finally make an emergency prep kit

8. Take an art class

9. Read 40 books  

10. Visit family in Long Beach  

11. Host 3 events  

12. Go on 10 hikes  

13. Buy a new suit  

14. See three plays/ ballets/ opera

15. Meditate every day  

16. Send birthday cards  

17. Adopt a dog  

18. Date night with hubby at least once per month  

19. Get Invisalign  

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Yosemite

Over the fall, I went to Yosemite with friends. We rented a great house in Groveland, and then went to Yosemite for the day for a hike. It was a perfect weekend adventure and I loved the wonder of Yosemite. The hike wasn’t easy, but it was certainly worth it.

Slacker Hill

One of my favorite hikes in San Francisco so far has been Slacker Hill in the Marin Headlands. It has one of the best views of San Francisco and can be as long or as short of a hike as you want. To get there, go over the Golden Gate Bridge and take exit 442, and then hang a sharp left toward Conzelman Road. Follow for about a mile and then, about halfway around the roundabout, you'll see a dozen or so spots to park parallel along the Coastal Trail. The walk to the best view is less than a mile, so we instead stayed left at the fork and walked through the Headlands for a few miles, then stopped and took photos at the vista point on our way back. If you’re adventurous, it would be especially beautiful at sunset.

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Our California Christmas

This year, I stayed in California for the holidays. At first I was pretty anxious about it. I am very close with my family, so the thought of not seeing them on a holiday made me very sad. But I had spent a lot of amount of money to travel for Thanksgiving and was tired from so much traveling. So we tried a new tradition.

California Christmas was stress free. We slept in, we exchanged gifts, went on a long walk and cooked a nice dinner. Even though I missed my family and it was strange to be so warm, I was glad that we tried something new. And being on a beach on Christmas was certainly nice.

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The Starfish Story

In my work, I often struggle with whether we are actually making a difference. I know that an extra $1,000 donation isn’t going to end homelessness and that volunteering may not change the world. But I often think of the starfish story, and it reminds me that even a small change can truly change the world.

The Starfish Story
From the City Year training site

A young girl was walking along a beach upon which thousands of starfish had been washed up during a terrible storm. When she came to each starfish, she would pick it up, and throw it back into the ocean. People watched her with amusement.

She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference to that one!”

The old man looked at the girl inquisitively and thought about what she had done and said. Inspired, he joined the little girl in throwing starfish back into the sea. Soon others joined, and all the starfish were saved.

Lessons while biking

Today I went biking with my husband. I hate biking, but I love my husband and it’s a beautiful sunny day.  

Within the first ten minutes, I was struggling. I couldn’t figure out what gear to be in and I was kicking myself for being so out of shape. And my competitiveness was bitter that my husband was so far ahead of me, even though I rationally know that he is much taller than me and bikes often. My mind became a scary place of my inner mean girl taking over. I just wanted to give up.  

But then I met up with hubby, and he immediately noticed that my brake was stuck on. No wonder I couldn’t go up hill. It wasn’t that I couldn’t ride or was out of shape, it was that my bike was fighting against me.   

I wondered, where else in my life am I fighting against myself? Where else am I struggling but could lighten the load if I just asked for help?  

This weekend is the winter solstice- what else is holding you back? What do you need to let go of? Once I was free from my brakes, life felt so much lighter.  

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Tikkun Olam

A few weeks ago I attended a luncheon with colleagues to celebrate National Philanthropy Day. Many organizations and individuals won awards at the event, including my company, and I was so inspired to spend a day celebrating service.

My favorite part of the day was learning about "tikkun olam," the Jewish dictate to repair the world without expectation of benefit or recognition. According to my research, the phrase originated in classical rabbinic literature and was often used to refer to social action in the 1950s.

The world is in need of a lot of love right now and we each should do what we can to mend where it is broken. Whether it is buying a sandwich for a person on the street or making a large philanthropic contribution, we can all make an impact. And all of our small actions can have an unbelievable ripple effect.

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Our deepest Fear - Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

I came across the above quote in several books that I have read recently, and it has really stuck with me. I often get caught up in my fears - I think that I have nothing new to say, so I don’t write in this blog. I think that no one will like me, so I shut myself down in social situations and don’t let anyone truly see me before I can let someone else hurt me. But this way of living is unbearably claustrophobic. Playing small goes against our natural way of being, and I am tired of not being embodied. But Marianne Williamson reminds us - at the end of the day, we’re not afraid of failure, we’re afraid of what happens if we succeed. But if we grow past this fear and let our light shine, we can light up the world.

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Montreal

Last weekend, we spent a few days in Montreal before coming to visit my in laws. I had never been to Montreal before, and I loved the city. The food was great, we enjoyed the architecture, it was like being in Europe without having to travel. 

From San Francisco it was a full day of travel, and we didn’t get into our hotel until the evening. We stayed at the Hotel Nelligan in Old Montreal, which was a great home base for exploring. It also had a great rooftop terrace bar, which we took advantage of both nights. After checking in, we had dinner at a local bistro and then went to bed early.  

The next morning, we got up and had breakfast at Cafe Tommy, an adorable cafe near the hotel. We then spent the day exploring- we walked to the top of Mont Royal to see a panoramic view of the city, and then explored the Plateau du Mont Royal neighborhood. Here we checked off two of our Montreal food missions - trying poutine and a smoked meat sandwich. The poutine was delicious and devoured before I had a chance to take a photo, but then we had a chance to digest while we were in line for a smoked meat sandwich at Schwartz’s. After all of the food, we then walked back to Old Montreal to see the Norte Dame Cathedral, which is where Celene Dion was married. We also tried to see the underground city, but either Got lost or were very underwhelmed. After so much walking, we went back to the hotel to shower and nap, and then went to Le Serpent in Saint Henri for dinner.   

The following morning, we went to the Crew Collective for breakfast. Crew Collective used to be a bank and is now a coffee shop and coworking space with beautiful architecture. As luck would have it, the coffee shop even had Fairmount bagels, the final Montreal food to try on our list. Montreal bagels are less fluffy than New York bagels, and very eggy. After breakfast we went back to our hotel to check out, and then took a road trip to Old Forge, New York, where we are staying with my in laws for a few days. I will definitely be back to Montreal - husband wants to come at Christmas time and experience their winter! 

 

Salesforce Park

Two weekends ago, the park at the Salesforce Transit Center finally opened. My office is around the corner from the park so I have anxiously watched the construction, and I am so excited to have a pleasant place to walk during lunch breaks. The horticulture is impressive, it is well laid out, and there are even food options available. 

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Exploratorium

A few weeks ago, I noticed signs throughout San Francisco for the Inflatable exhibit at the Exploratorium. Since my family loves ridiculous blow ups, I immediately bought tickets for while my mom was in town. 

The actual Inflatable part of the museum was fairly underwhelming - there were a total of five installations, including a very large person and a machine that looked like an octopus that was powered by computer monitors. The installations were all interesting and creative, but not worth the hype that had been made for the exhibit. 

However the rest of the Exploratorium was great. It is a large museum on science and discovery, that has exhibits suited for all ages. One of our favorites was the ice exhibit, where they had a water table with a freezer underneath, and you could watch ice form through microscopes. There were also exhibits on cell growth, gravity and kinetic energy.

I may not go back for a special exhibit, but I will certainly come back to the Exploratorium. I even recently found out that they have adult night on Thursdays, so you can visit the museum without lots of kids running around. 

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Soul Cycle

I have always wondered about Soul Cycle. I have lots of friends who swear by it, but it always seemed like too much of a cult for me. And it is so darn expensive. But I decided that this summer was the Summer of Yes, so I added it to my list. 

Yesterday I went with one of my husband’s friends and fell in love. I loved the loud music and dark room with candles, and have always loved inspirational coaching. The 45 minutes flew by and I loved being able to push myself. I definitely will take another class. 

The one downside was that the emphasis was on pushing yourself not on form, and I woke up this morning with a pulled muscle in my neck. So I do recommend trying it at least once, but make sure to take care of yourself!  

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Combat burnout

I have come to learn that we all go through stages of burnout. No matter how advanced you are, if you aren’t setting boundaries and caring for yourself then life starts to feel like much more of a struggle. I recently came across a video by Julie Santiago, one of my favorite coaches, who provided three simple steps for combatting burn out. 

1. Fill your cup first. If you give to everyone else before caring for yourself, then you will deplete your energy and end up resentful. If you instead fill yourself first, you can be of service from a place of wholeness, and are able to keep your own energy.

2. Be a renegade. You may work at an office where everyone eats lunch at your desk, but that doesn’t mean that you have to. Find little ways to fill more joy in your day.

3. Remember who you are outside of work. This was my favorite piece of advice. When we were younger, being a student didn’t define us. We had hobbies, we had friendships, we filled our time with more wonder. As adults, this doesn’t have to change. Your self worth is not your job and you can find activities that you still enjoy. For example, waking up 20 minutes early to write each day allows me to think of myself as more than just the roles I play. 

Lolinda - My 30th Birthday

For my 30th birthday, I had an incredible dinner with my mom and some of my best friends in San Francisco. I decided to have a unicorn theme for my party, and everyone was great sports about wearing their silly unicorn horns. The dinner was at Lolinda, an Argentinian steak house in the Mission in San Francisco. The entire meal was delicious - my favorite dish was surprisingly the vegetable skewers, but everything was amazing and I was so touched to be able to have a fun dinner with the great friends that I have been able to make here. When I moved a year ago, I hoped to make friends but had my doubts, so now being able to feel like I have a community has made such a difference. 

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Mendocino

For my birthday last month, my mom and I traveled north to Mendocino for a girls weekend. We had the perfect get away filled with nature, great food and adventures. We stayed at the Heritage House, which had amazing views of the ocean and the largest bathtub that I had ever experienced. We went on two great hikes to the Van Damme State Park and the Jug Handle Natural Reserve. Most excitingly there was a very friendly goat on the trail who had gotten loose from a local farm. We had a delicious dinner at Cafe Beaujolais. 

de Young Museum

Growing up, I was not a museum person. My family is all very artistic, so going to the museum was always a full day activity. Within the past few years, my love of art has significantly increased. I now have favorite artists and even find myself suggesting going to the museum with friends. 

The de Young museum was incredibly large and filled with important pieces - I couldn't believe how much there was to see. On the 9th floor there is a room with panoramic views of San Francisco that is a perfect start to the visit, and my favorite piece of art was the Chihuly sculpture. There were also two special exhibits entitled Cult of the Machine and The Art of Propaganda that were incredibly powerful. I'll definitely be back to see more of the museum soon. 

Hello Fresh

I somehow refused to learn how to cook when I was growing up. I don't know if I thought that it would be more feminist to not be able to be type cast as the provider or if I was just lazy, but I hit 30 years old having never learned how to provide for myself. Left to my own devices, I will opt to make Annie's Mac and Cheese or delivery over trying to make something any day.

This summer I was finally forced to learn how to cook - no one else was home and I couldn't subsist on my unhealthy options, so I made the plunge. After attempting several cook books and being too overwhelmed, I opted to sign up for Hello Fresh. I received a discount code in the mail, and was excited to give cooking another try.

Each week, I select my menu of meals and then a large box comes with all of the ingredients. The recipes are interesting but not complicated - most can be cooked within a half hour. I suddenly have been enjoying going home to cook and having yummy food to eat. When my subscription ends, I'll probably go back to making my husband cook, but it is nice that I now have a few recipes that I actually know how to make!

This is not sponsored, just sharing my opinion for your benefit!

Gilroy Garlic Festival

In early August, I was able to check another item off of my California bucket list - the Gilroy Garlic Festival! If you don't know, Gilroy is the garlic capitol of the world and hosts an annual festival celebrating their beloved herb (is it an herb?). This was the 40th year of the festival, and it truly exceeded our expectations. We ate more food than I thought was possible - we started with the free garlic ice cream, then shared garlic fries, garlic calamari and a drink, and finished the day with garlic bread and a garlic peppercorn steak sandwich. It was a great cultural experience to discover this community event. 

Conservatory of Flowers

Yesterday I had a free day, so I checked another item off of my California Bucket List. Located in Golden Gate Park, the Conservatory of Flowers has provided a respite for horticulturists since 1879. Tickets for entry are $9, and there are five rooms filled with pristine exhibits of flowers and plants. As someone less passionate about horticulture, I did not spend very long in the exhibits, but still recommend if you find yourself in Golden Gate Park with time to spare.